Post by trippthezelda on Aug 7, 2009 15:04:22 GMT -5
Day One: Hey, this game seems pretty cool. It's in third person and you can slide into cover like crazy. And it's got this crazy chainsaw gun. It's so cool to chainsaw these alien things in half. That mexican guy seems pretty upset about something most of the time and that blonde guy is kind of a jerk. Oh man that black guy kills a lot of stuff though. I think I'll try the multiplayer.
Week 1-4: Hey, this is pretty fun. I like running around and ducking into cover and shooting and then chainsawing people. For some reason people yell at me a lot though. And even though chainsawing is fun I die a lot after I do it. Maybe I should try another weapon..
Week 4-8: Ok I notice a lot of people use the shotgun but I'm not very good at it. But it seems like everyone melees before they shoot I should try that. HEY! This works like crazy! I don't even have to aim and I can kill people!
Week 8-Eternity: (without progression) LOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE I TWO-PIECED. I'm going to put something about kobe bryant in my gamertag and talk like 50 cent. I am so cool. I learned lots of cool new phrases like "Get bodied" and "You got raped" and "owned, *****". Oh man I almost burnt my finger on this blunt.
Week 8-12: Alright, I can one shot people with the shotgun sometimes and I do pretty well in shotgun duels, but I'm noticing that it seems a bit inconsistent. In situations where it feels like I should have clearly won I'm losing. I looked on the internet and people say there is this thing called host advantage. That's a bummer, explains why I do incredible sometimes though.
Week 12-Eternity(If you're a douche): I LEARNED HOW TO BRIDGE HOSTTTTTTTTTTT. SHOTGUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Week 12-16: Alright this laggy host stuff is driving me crazy, but I've begun to use my hammerburst. It seems to counter things pretty well.
Week 16-Eternity: (If you have anger issues). Today in the post-lobby I said this "YOU ****** PIECE OF **** HOST GARBAGE MOTHER ***** LAG SWITCHING HOST BRIDGING MOTHER****** PIECE OF FOREIGN CONNECTION BULL ****. WHAT DID YOU BUY YOUR ******* CONNECTION WITH FOOD STAMPS? YOU SUCK, 1v1 ME ***** I'LL WRECK YOU YOU PIECE OF-" At this point the lobby ended but I was still yelling at the loading screen. It was trying to give me a tip and I just yelled at it and threatened to punch JoeGraf in the face if I ever saw him.
Week 16-Eternity: One half of my matches are a blast. One half of my matches are an ulcer inducing festering pit of wanna be gangsters, people who think you aren't "manly" if you use a weapon other than shotgun, host bridging nerds, down humping british hosts who have a distinct advantage but still taunt you, children who squeal in your ear if you pick up snipe then run around the map trying to get blindfire headshots for their montage, braggarts complainers whiners and *******. I really should shut this off and play another game. I really should but- well..one more match.
I really hope K9 sees this.
Week 1-4: Hey, this is pretty fun. I like running around and ducking into cover and shooting and then chainsawing people. For some reason people yell at me a lot though. And even though chainsawing is fun I die a lot after I do it. Maybe I should try another weapon..
Week 4-8: Ok I notice a lot of people use the shotgun but I'm not very good at it. But it seems like everyone melees before they shoot I should try that. HEY! This works like crazy! I don't even have to aim and I can kill people!
Week 8-Eternity: (without progression) LOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE I TWO-PIECED. I'm going to put something about kobe bryant in my gamertag and talk like 50 cent. I am so cool. I learned lots of cool new phrases like "Get bodied" and "You got raped" and "owned, *****". Oh man I almost burnt my finger on this blunt.
Week 8-12: Alright, I can one shot people with the shotgun sometimes and I do pretty well in shotgun duels, but I'm noticing that it seems a bit inconsistent. In situations where it feels like I should have clearly won I'm losing. I looked on the internet and people say there is this thing called host advantage. That's a bummer, explains why I do incredible sometimes though.
Week 12-Eternity(If you're a douche): I LEARNED HOW TO BRIDGE HOSTTTTTTTTTTT. SHOTGUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Week 12-16: Alright this laggy host stuff is driving me crazy, but I've begun to use my hammerburst. It seems to counter things pretty well.
Week 16-Eternity: (If you have anger issues). Today in the post-lobby I said this "YOU ****** PIECE OF **** HOST GARBAGE MOTHER ***** LAG SWITCHING HOST BRIDGING MOTHER****** PIECE OF FOREIGN CONNECTION BULL ****. WHAT DID YOU BUY YOUR ******* CONNECTION WITH FOOD STAMPS? YOU SUCK, 1v1 ME ***** I'LL WRECK YOU YOU PIECE OF-" At this point the lobby ended but I was still yelling at the loading screen. It was trying to give me a tip and I just yelled at it and threatened to punch JoeGraf in the face if I ever saw him.
Week 16-Eternity: One half of my matches are a blast. One half of my matches are an ulcer inducing festering pit of wanna be gangsters, people who think you aren't "manly" if you use a weapon other than shotgun, host bridging nerds, down humping british hosts who have a distinct advantage but still taunt you, children who squeal in your ear if you pick up snipe then run around the map trying to get blindfire headshots for their montage, braggarts complainers whiners and *******. I really should shut this off and play another game. I really should but- well..one more match.
I really hope K9 sees this.
